Monday, August 31, 2015

You're Not Funny, You're a Lunatic

The thing about trying to be funny is,
if you're not real good at it
people just think you're a mental case.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Peru Child Protection Service

You can get away with it now, kid.
But that hat
will get you beaten up in kindergarten.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Cheese Tasting in Annecy, France

"What kind did you just try?"
"This one. The uh... Excusez moi monsieur, umm...
Le fromage...uh, this, quel nom?"
"Ah! You have just eaten ze fromage de vache* testicule!
You like?..."

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Meanwhile, in Shanghai...

"Dude, that watermelon you sold me
gave me the shits, man.
Hey! ... HEY!! (Ugh!...)
Don't act like you don't (ugh!) remember me!..."