Gangsta River Cruise in the Malaysian Interior

The one they called 'The Plunger' stared at his victim.
"Now?" he whispered to his boss. "Can I do him now?"

Ramone sucked on his cheeba, long and deep. "Patience," he breathed. "Wait until the river is at its deepest. Then..." He blew the smoke from his lungs and stroked his mullet. "...you can escort our white invader overboard."

Ricky just let his hands hang loose between his knees. He loved this shit.

That There's Some Serious Sign Language

 

People who read Malay or English get a warning.

Everyone else gets shot in the head.

On the Road in Malaysia

3 Kids & Some Chicken

The road from Kuala Lumpur Airport to the coast is not a straight line so much as a flippin three-quarter circle.

Somewhere between Sepang and Sungai Pelek I got off my bike at this roadside stand run by these three electric teenagers. They spoke no English. I didn't even know what people spoke in Malaysia. But ordering five sticks of grilled chicken chunks doesn't take much more than a smile and a couple of gestures.

They went heavy on the spicy sauce for me. Then they started telling me "Three! Three!" This after negotiating a lower price in whatever funny money I was carrying on this, my first day in this new and, so far, perplexing country.

I could lie and say I'm too nice a guy to argue but really, I was just too tired. I dipped into my wallet for a couple of bills. They raised the decibel level. I looked up at their smiles.

And it hit me.

"Free," they were telling me. Free.

The rest of the ride to the coast, though in the dark, was a breeze.