Meanwhile, at the Museum...

Pretty much how any guy would feel

 

after seeing what a mastadon was packing.

Till Sudden Trauma to the Head Do You Part

A good sharp headbutt should do it,

 

Julie thought as her aged and filthy rich

 

groom moved in to help her out of the car.

"Hey Girls! All this AND I'm almost totally potty trained!"

Two Cambodian Girls

and the Meaning of their Young Lives

 

 

Mary spent her childhood pondering her life's

incongruous mix of poverty and contentment,

and whether escaping the former

would mean losing sight of the latter.

 

Julie only cared about making funny noises

blowing on pieces of grass.

 

Camera Shy or Politically Savvy?

 

Manuel didn't care what the guy offered him,

no way he was going to

"Just look at the camera and say Trump."

 

Meanwhile, in Sidi Rahal, Morocco...

"You stay right here, Ricky.

 

I'll go get your tricycle back..."

I Love You, Now Shut Up!

This Valentine's Day,

get her a gift you'll both appreciate.

 

PMS B-Gone,

in 5,000 or 10,000 tablet canisters.

 

Meanwhile, Out On The Water...

Arthur's shoulder really was sore from badminton.

But it didn't look like anyone else was going to
jump in and try to save Barry.

Gangsta River Cruise in the Malaysian Interior

The one they called 'The Plunger' stared at his victim.
"Now?" he whispered to his boss. "Can I do him now?"

Ramone sucked on his cheeba, long and deep. "Patience," he breathed. "Wait until the river is at its deepest. Then..." He blew the smoke from his lungs and stroked his mullet. "...you can escort our white invader overboard."

Ricky just let his hands hang loose between his knees. He loved this shit.

There's an ambulance standing by. Enjoy your meal.

Ly Hong finally found a way

to combine his love of cooking

with his dream of becoming

a paramedic.

On the Mean Streets of Northern Thailand

"Just make some funny faces,

he'll give us candy or something..."

 

 

"...Or money! Ooh!

Maybe he'll give money!..."

 

 

 

"Hey man, check this!

Susan got a light saber,

that's Jabba the Cat

and I'm usin' the force

like a mind trick yo!" 

 

"So it's like that then?

You just gonna walk away?

...Huh?..."

('Kick his ass, Willie!')

"HUH?...

...Cheap-ass whitey..."

('Kick his ass!')

Imperfect Dreams in the Thai Royal Military

Someday, young Permsik promised himself.

Someday it will be ME wearing the raspberry beret! Someday it will be ME in front!

Steering! And braking! Yes, braking!

Yes, someday that beret will be on MY head!

But...what of my hair?...

Devil's Food in Thailand

"This...this chocoleet...You sell this?

You can no sell! This is from devil!

You think to sell this chocoleet?!

This is fruit stand!

This...Why you laugh??

Stop!! Stop it to sell this choco -

IS THAT COFFEE??!!..."

A Thai Kid Working the Man

On Monday "Savvy Sean" told the people at Pepsi

about the BMX bicycle Coca-Cola gave him

for exclusive soft drink rights at his Tiki Tapa Cafe.

 

By Friday he was cruising the streets of Tha Chang

on his new 'Pepsico-motion' tandem.

Dogs Are Smart

and surprisingly tasty.

 

"It was freaky, man. I mean, it was like that dog knew exactly what happened to all his buddies..."

Overheard in Peru

"...And then I tell him 'Si, es coca, is natural for Viagra...'
           (snickering)
"...he buy everything I have..."
           (laughter)
"...and then I tell him taste of coca tea, tell him ees for women..."
           (hearty laughter)
"Ees really alapaca piss!..."
           (roaring, howling)
"...He spit out...but buy two big bottles!!"

Persist. Persevere. Never Give Up.

Hell-bent on proving to themselves

that the first time was not just a fluke,

Alim and Sal have been standing outside Daniel's

each Friday during Happy Hour for twelve years

saying to every woman who passes by

"Dark meat's juicier than white meat you know."

Ryan & The Snake

One Little Jerk's Come-Uppance



 

Ryan liked to call the other kids pussies for wearing helmets.

The other kids liked not telling Ryan that there was a snake about to bite him in the ankle.

Lost in Perfect translation

Standing Him Up by Sitting Down

 

 

Frankie thought it was just Birgit's quirky English when she said she'd wait for him in the corner.

Here, Wear This Nice Blue Shirt...

...Meine Kleine Schweinhund.

 

 

He wasn't sure why, but Clayton always had this weird feeling that he was adopted.